What does side mean in gay terms
After a solid five-year run in a somewhat monogam-ish bond, I find myself emerging on the other side as a 30-year-old solo guy, clueless about how to spring back into the dating game. Initially, I avoided virtual dating apps, drowning my sorrows in Lengthy Island iced teas, surviving emotional meltdowns at wild property parties, and good, tending to my own business solo. But with moment, my heart healed, and I decided to dip my toes (and thumbs) into the online dating world.
Though I haven’t had any dates yet, I’ve explored these apps, and guess what? Not much has changed since my last dating initiative. There’s still an abundance of headless torsos and greetings that march in like they have the place. Once you log in, you’ll scroll, swipe, or heart your way through an endless parade of twinks, twunks, bears, daddies, and more! However, when it comes to selecting your preferred positions for sex – something gay men take very seriously – the choices have always been the traditional “top,” “bottom,” or “verse.”
Then, like a beacon of curiosity, the term “side” kept popping up, catching my eye. At first, I imagined
What Does “Top” Mean?
In the context of gay relationships and sexual dynamics, terms such as “top”, “bottom”, “verse” and “side” are often used to describe a person’s sexual preferences and roles. It is important to knowing these terms not only for members of the LGBTQ+ people, but also for increasing sympathetic and acceptance of queer relationships in society.
What Does “Top” Mean?Physical AspectsEmotional and Psychological AspectsCommunication and ConsentWhat Does “Bottom” Mean?Physical AspectsEmotional and Psychological AspectsThe Stigma Around Being a BottomWhat Does “Verse” Mean?Accepting DiversityCommunication and CompatibilityWhat Does “Side” Mean?Non-Penetrative IntimacyOpposing NormsAccepting One’s IdentityRoles and MythsHealth and Guard During Gay Sex
As a command, in gay sexual relationships, the “top” is the partner who has a penetrative role during anal sex. However, the principle of top includes much more than just physical actions: it includes a whole set of attitudes, preferences, and sometimes sentimental roles.
Physical Aspects
In physical terms, the top in a gay sexual relationship is the partner acting the penetration. This may comprise the use
Gaymenare constantly referring to and defining themselves as "tops" or "bottoms." When they consider dating or simply hooking up, gay men typically ask the other guy whether he's a top, a bottom or "versatile." It's important to find this out as soon as possible, because if you are planning to date or gain into a relationship, it's vitally important that you and he be sexually compatible with each other.
The whole issue of tops and bottoms came up recently with the release of a novel study that looked at whether or not people can determine whether a gay man is a top or a bottom just by looking at facial cues. The learn revealed that judgments made about whether an individual is a top or a bottom are based on perceived masculine and feminine traits.
There's so much talk and discussion about who gives and who receives. I've had straight people tell me that they assumed that most gay guys simply take turns. Yes, some do, but most don't. But what if a guy isn't a superior, a bottom or even versatile? What about male lover men who have never engaged in anal sex and never will, ever?
I think they warrant a name of their own. I call them "sides."
Defining a Side
Sides choose to k
I’m gay and I’m not a top or a bottom – I’m a ‘side’
As a gay man, prying strangers and potential hook-ups alike possess asked me one question more times than I’ve had hot dinners.
‘Top or bottom?’
Words get me out of bed in the morning, and when uttered by the right people at the right time, they’ve also been famous to get me into bed.
But neither of these – top or bottom – accurately describe what I prefer to obtain up to in the boudoir, so my response has always been a guarded mix of shrug and mumble.
Here’s the tea: I’m actually a ‘side’, a term coined by American psychotherapist and sexologist Joe Kort to portray those, like me, for whom penetrative sex – in either position – does very little.
Getting the peach involved is, quite literally, a pain in the ass, but as for the aubergine, let’s just say that hands and mouths always understand the assignment way better.
To continue the meal metaphor: if man-on-man action were a dinner party, I’d have zero interest in sitting down to a bland meal when the amuse-bouches are so good.
I confess that I indulged in a lot of sex in my 20s – penetrative sex.
It oddly took yo