Gay side meaning
Rise of the sides: how Grindr finally recognized gay men who aren’t tops or bottoms
Every month, nearly 11 million gay men around the world move on the Grindr app to glance for sex with other men. Once there, they can scroll through an endless stream of guys, from handsome to homely, bear to twink. Yet when it comes to choosing positions for sex – a crucial criterion for most queer men – the possibilities have distant been simply uppermost and bottom. The only other decision available toggles between those roles: verse (for versatile).
“Not fitting those roles has made it really tough to locate someone,” said Jeremiah Hein, 38, of Long Beach, California. “There’s no category to choose from.”
“Whenever I’d look at those choices I’d think, ‘I’m none of those things,’” said Shai Davidi, 51, of Tel Aviv, Israel. “I felt there must be something incorrect with me.”
Last month, however, that finally changed. In mid-May, Grindr added a position called side, a designation that upends the binary that has historically dominated gay male culture. Sides are men who uncover fulfillment in every kind of sexual act except anal penetration. Instead, a broad range of oral, manual and frictional body techniques provide
After a solid five-year run in a somewhat monogam-ish relationship, I find myself emerging on the other side as a 30-year-old single guy, clueless about how to jump back into the dating game. Initially, I avoided dating apps, drowning my sorrows in Long Island iced teas, surviving emotional meltdowns at untamed house parties, and well, tending to my own business solo. But with time, my heart healed, and I decided to dip my toes (and thumbs) into the online dating world.
Though I haven’t had any dates yet, I’ve explored these apps, and guess what? Not much has changed since my last dating venture. There’s still an abundance of headless torsos and greetings that march in prefer they own the place. Once you log in, you’ll scroll, swipe, or heart your way through an endless parade of twinks, twunks, bears, daddies, and more! However, when it comes to selecting your preferred positions for sex – something same-sex attracted men take very seriously – the choices have always been the traditional “top,” “bottom,” or “verse.”
Then, like a beacon of curiosity, the term “side” kept popping up, catching my eye. At first, I imagined
LGBTQIA Resource Center Glossary
GLOSSARY
The terms and definitions below are always evolving, altering and often mean other things to different people. They are provided below as a starting aim for discussion and comprehension. This Glossary has been collectively built and created by the staff members of the LGBTQIA Resource Center since the preliminary 2000s.
These are not universal definitions. This glossary is provided to help provide others a more thorough but not entirely comprehensive understanding of the significance of these terms. You may even consider asking someone what they represent when they use a term, especially when they use it to outline their identity. Ultimately it is most important that each individual define themselves for themselves and therefore also define a designation for themselves.
“If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” -Audre Lorde
This glossary contains terms, such as ableism and disability, that may not be considered directly related to identities of sexuality or gender. These terms are vital to acknowledge as part of our mission to challenge all forms of oppress
If you’ve been on dating or hook-up apps like Grindr or Scruff for more than a minute, then you might have approach across some cryptic language, coded and abbreviated to construct the most of communicating sexual preferences. Because we all love efficiency when it comes to flirting and sex, right?
But to perceive some of these gay hieroglyphics, you may need a little help deciphering them. So, we’ve put together a list of some frequently used phrases, acronyms, and other words you might encounter on the apps.
What are you into?
Asking what a person is into, or ‘into?’ is often the first thing sent between people when negotiating sex on a hookup app. This could include any sexual positions or sexual acts you prefer and other kinks that might interest you. When people ask this question, they might offer their have “intos”, including some of the language below!
Sex positions
Assume the position! Ahem, we mean, what’s your sexual position? Some people can detect language like this limiting, as there is usually a great deal more to sex and hooking up than deciding who is going to be giving and who’s receiving during anal sex or neither. However, it’s almost always in utilize – so it’s good t